Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about the week that was.

Link: #iPad, #iTampon, #iDie
Every techie and techie wannabe has an opinion about the iPad, Apple’s brand new reader to challenge the Kindle and Nook. The most entertaining opinion however, has without a doubt been the endless obsession over the choice of name. “Do they come in maxi?” “With wings?” Seriously, what ELSE was Apple going to call it? Name one other possibility! You can’t even think of one. And then, just like that… #iTampon was born.
Rating: 4 zits

Link: The braces are coming off, America
ABC has announced that they’re pulling the plug on Ugly Betty. The show that made America Ferrera a star in 2006 is ending with just 8 episodes left. Four years – not a bad run, but for Betty fans we know this is heartbreaking news.
Rating: 2 zits

Link: Mind your own Lady Business!
Okay. So we got a little excited this morning about Vajazzling. Spa Week is all about relaxation, wellness, health… and now there’s a Swarovski-studded hoo-ha in the mix? We’re going to go ahead and give ourselves a few zits for our over-zealousness. It’s fine though, because…… we’ll just Vajazzle right on over them suckers.
Rating: 3 zits

Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about events, people, and things that happened this week.

The End to Insomnia
An update on the late-night wars, as they’re being called: NBC and Conan o’Brien have struck a deal. Conan will leave NBC with $45 million in severance, including $12 million for his staff – provided he stays off TV for 8 months. Jay Leno will get the Tonight Show back. Presumably thousands of Americans will now return to not watching any of the late-night shows.
Rating: 3 zits

Prince Gets in the Game

Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush aren’t the only ones with Superbowl fever – Minnesota native Prince penned a song called “Purple and Gold”, which he hopes will urge the Vikings on to victory. It’s no “When Doves Cry”, that’s for sure – but who’s to say it won’t be the next “Purple Rain?” …OK, I guess everyone.
Rating: 0 zits

Putting the “Design” in Designer
Designer junkies have yet another line to save their pennies for – fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg is branching out with a line of home furnishings, including furniture, bedding, tablecloths, and bath accessories. They’ll undoubtedly be gorgeous…now if only they weren’t so expensive!
Rating: 1 zits

Not Funemployment
The US Bureau of Labor released unemployment statistics for December 2009, and most individual states saw their unemployment rates increase. We thought 2010 was supposed to be a fresh start? Here’s to a better economy and rising employment in the coming months. What won’t cost a red cent is entering our National Wellness Giveaway! In tough times, everyone deserves to take a minute to take care of themselves.
Rating: 6 zits

Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about events, people, and things that happened this week.

Staying Up Late
With the announcement that NBC might opt to give The Tonight Show back to Jay Leno, pushing current host Conan O’Brien back to a post-midnight time slot, the late-night world erupted in support for O’Brien. The scandal has made late night more thrilling than it has been in years; now if only the shows themselves were as interesting.
Rating: 2 zits   

Earthquake in Haiti

A horrific earthquake in Haiti has left hundreds of thousands displaced, deceased, or wounded. There’s nothing else to say about it that hasn’t alreay been said, but here’s something that bears repeating: text “Haiti” to 90999 to add a $10 Red Cross donation to your phone bill, or explore other charities putting your donations to good use here.
Rating: 6 zits

Worst Face Forward?
After appearing on the cover of People magazine after undergoing 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day, Heidi Montag and her new look are all some tabloids and media outlets can talk about. The latest: the plastic surgeon who sculpted her new face is facing malpractice charges. Given everything else that’s going on in the world, we’re supposed to care about this why?
Rating: 5 zits

Swine and Moan
The Center for Disease Control estimates that 20% of Americans are currently vaccinated against H1N1, also fondly known as the swine flu. Given that the vaccine only emerged in October and in limited supply, officials are saying these figures are successful. If you haven’t gotten your vaccine yet, you may find it easier to get one now that the initial rush is over. Here’s hoping for an uneventful flu season!
Rating: 0 zits

Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about events, people, and things that happened this week.

Double Down…and Split
If you’re planning to head to Monte Carlo and win big at the slots this weekend, not only are you probably bad at mathematical odds, but you also might not even be guaranteed any money you win. After a six-month argument on the matter, a French court split slot machine winnings between the woman who put the money in the machine and the man who pulled the lever. As they say: if you want something done right, pull the lever yourself.
Rating: 4 zits

What’s the Dark Matter?
Scientists announced they may very well have found dark matter in a mine in Minnesota. If the presence of dark matter is confirmed, this could be a Nobel-level breakthrough for science. It would also be absolute confirmation that the universe is way cooler than originally thought.
Rating: 1 zits

Monster Dreams
Let no one tell you those YouTube videos you upload of yourself talking about your feelings are a waste of time! A Uraguayan producer who uploaded a short film depicting aliens attacking Montevideo has just gotten a $30million Hollywood contract. Gotta love a Cinderella story; now let’s hope the movie’s good…
Rating: 0 zits

The Looks Have It
A study finds that for urban women, attractiveness plays a significant role in networking, employment, and social connections. This isn’t the surprising part – what’s surprising is that the study found the same didn’t hold true for women in rural areas, who tended to be part of tighter-knit communities. Regardless of where we live, don’t we all want to be treated based on personality rather than face? Boo!
Rating: 5 zits

Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about events, people, and things that happened this week.

Tiger Woods: Golfer? I Hardly Know ‘Er!
After last week’s bizarre one-man accident, new information leaking out all but confirms Woods and his wife were arguing about his infidelity the night he took his ride for a little commune with a nearby tree. And his dogging around doesn’t look like it was limited to just one or two affairs. Tsk, tsk, Tiger. Wasn’t making millions by swinging a stick enough for you?
Rating: 4 zits

Marilyn Monroe, pothead?
A newly released silent film shows the bombshell smoking marijuana in the late 1950s. By all accounts, she looks relaxed and happy and, given the tumult of so many other times in her life, it’s hard to begrudge her chasing a little happiness, all lawbreaking aside.
Rating: 1 zit

Monkeying Around
Yale undergrads, who apparently haven’t seen the fine Dustin Hoffman vehicle Outbreak, were fooled by an e-mail alleging monkeys diseased with a rare (and fake!) hemorrhagic fever had broken loose from a research lab and were running around campus. As pranks go, this is a fine one!
Rating: 0 zits, well played

For the Person Who Has Everything
It’s the holidays, so I suppose it’s only natural that something like this would emerge…but this week we were graced with a doozy of a gift. If you don’t have a fireplace, and you want a fireplace, and you have a TV, but you never want to watch the TV while the fireplace is going or have the fireplace going while you watch TV…uh, here you go. It’s a DVD of a fireplace. To make your TV a fireplace.  Be sure to get up very close to it to catch the wisps of warmth emanating from the cathode ray tubes. Just like the real thing!
Rating: 3 zits