Beyonce expecting, Sandra Bullock, more NCAA upsets…the Zit List | 03.26.10

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Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about the week that was.

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Link: Mama Fierce
Fresh off the press, but certain sources are claiming that the world may soon be graced with a mini-Beyonce – rumors speculate that the singer may be newly pregnant. If it’s true, we wish Miss Beyonce a healthy and happy pregnancy!
Rating: 0 zits

Link: Secret Sadness of the Queen of Rom-Coms
Oscar winner (seriously…) Sandra Bullock had her face splashed all over the tabloids this week when her husband, Jesse James, was revealed to be a recidivist cheat. The only good thing that comes out of this sad and rather sordid situation is that scientists can finally lay to rest the question of whether attractive people can date and marry jerks. Thanks for taking one for the team, Sandy.
Rating: 5 zits

Link: March Madness Update
The NCAA upsets continue – on Thursday, Butler’s team upset #1 seed Syracuse to advance to the regional finals. 1 zit for broken brackets, but you have to love unexpected results.
Rating: 1 zit

Tiger texts, Alex Chilton, NCAA March Madness…the Zit List | 03.19.10

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Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about the week that was.

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Link: Tiger Trauma
Things probably can’t get much worse for Tigs – one of his mistresses released the text messages he sent her. Yeah, yeah, the affair stuff is disturbing, but far MORE disturbing is the fact that the text messages suggest that Tiger thought he was a CIA agent in the process.
Rating: 3 zits


Link: The Day the Music Died
Influential musician Alex Chilton passed away this week due to a heart attack after a long career in the industry. He helmed the Box Tops at age 16 and Big Star during the 1970s; in the ensuing decades, legions of indie and pop artists alike were influenced by his sound.
Rating: 5 zits

Link: Don’t Stop the Madness
March Madness is upon us, and many brackets have already been thrown askew by upsets of top-seeded teams. 1 zit in deference to those teams’ dashed dreams, but underdogs are always more exciting. Put your seatbelts on!
Rating: 1 zit

Pringles, Corey Haim, Steroids…The Zit List | 03.12.10

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Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about the week that was.

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Link: Once You Pop, You Better Stop
Not enough that salmonella affects our eggs and spinach – now it infests that most holy of grails, Pringles, too? It’s sad but true. This week, we learned we must throw out our cans of taco and cheeseburger flavored Pringles. Oh, the humanity!
Rating: 3 zits


Link: Corey, We Hardly Knew Ye
Child star Corey Haim was found dead this week of an apparent overdose, the most recent in a disheartening string of celebrity deaths, serving as a reminder that fame doesn’t necessarily bring happiness.
Rating: 5 zits

Link: Lebron=Besmirched
Lebron (or should we say Le-brawn) James, the Cleveland NBA star, was faced with rumors this morning that his prowess on the court was due in part to steroids. The only problem was this: Lebron was clean. Cleveland Indians baseball player, Steve Lebron, was the one who had tested positive for juice. Perhaps we should cease referring to sports stars by names and nicknames? (Nah.)
Rating: 1 zits

Kids flying planes, Oscars, Earthquakes…The Zit List | 03.05.10

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Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about the week that was.

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Link: Take Your Kids to Work Day?
Early this week, an air traffic controller at JFK was suspended for allowing his young son to give air traffic control directions to planes. Obviously dumb of the dad, who was laughably quoted as asking what his bosses might have expected when school’s out…but give that kid a medal for grace under pressure. A future Captain Sully, perhaps?
Rating: 3 zits

Link: Oscar Showdown
Entertainment buffs are probably already salivating in anticipation of this Sunday’s Oscars, and specifically the Best Picture showdown between former married people Kathryn Bigelow’s good-but-twenty-minutes-too-long The Hurt Locker and fatuous James Cameron’s thudding live-action-Ferngully Avatar. The plot thickened this week when one of Locker’s producers was banned from the ceremony for sending out emails urging members of the Academy to vote for his movie, in the process disparaging Avatar. 1 grudging zit given here for “unsportsmanlike behavior”, but to be honest the Oscars would be a lot better with less fawning self-congratulation and more squabbling between bitter exes. And, we all know Up is the real Best Picture here, anyway.
Rating: 1 zits

Link: Earthshaking
Last Saturday’s 8.8 earthquake in Chile (which was thankfully less destructive than the one in Haiti, but still no small bones where earthquakes are concerned) was powerful enough that it actually knocked the earth off its axis, shortening the day by a matter of milleseconds. Unfortunately, weekdays and weekends were affected equally.
Rating: 6 zits

Hockey, Vajazzling, Killer Whales…The Zit List | 02.26.10

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Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about the week that was.

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Link: Puck Nation
As the Olympics of the frozen and wealthy draw to a close (London ’12!) so did the high-profile hockey matchups. And now Canada has something to be modestly humble about! The men’s team knocked the Russians out of competition and the women’s team reigned over the favored US in the finals. Congrats to our neighbors, we suppose, but just wait until we show up in 2016.
Rating: 2 zits

Link: Vajazzling
If you haven’t checked out the flurry we caused earlier this week…prepare to have your mind blown. Vajazzling is here to stay, and we’re the only ones bringing it to you for $50 during Spa Week. The only zit? That Spa Week can’t be all year long.
Rating: 1 zits

Link: Baby It’s A Wild World
A killer whale in Sea World lived up to its moniker and fatally injured a trainer in front of an audience that included small children…a reminder that we can use them as entertainment all we want, but at the end of the day a wild animal is a wild, unpredictable animal.
Rating: 6 zits