As all good Twihards know, the sun makes vampires sparkle. There’s just one problem.

You ain’t a vamp.

Yes, the sad news is that if you’re reading this, you’re probably a human – and the sun won’t make you sparkle so much as wrinkle and buurrrnnn. So, with Ra’s rays out of the question, what’s a mortal to do to banish that otherworldly pallor?

Fake it, just like the Cullens faked being human (the metaphor begins to fail…here.) Here are our four fave sunless tanners, ready for your fake baking pleasure! And we won’t tell if you wait until after you’ve seen Eclipse. You know, all the better to fit in.

Fake Baker: Neutrogena MicroMist Tanning Sunless Spray
Why We Love It: Never streaks, dries fast, gradual bronze color, very minimal sunless-tan odor.

Fake Baker: Nivea Summer Beauty Smooth Legs
Why We Love It: Great for a light self-tanner without the odor.

Fake Baker: philosophy the big skinny self-tanning firming cream
Why We Love It: The big skinny self-tanning firming cream delivers gradual, natural-looking color…and smoother skin, all in one go.

Fake Baker: Beautisol All Seasons Glow
Why We Love It: Paraben free and packed with antioxidants, this bronzer will make your skin healthier – something the sun will never, ever do!

Product images courtesy of Pevonia Botanica

I don’t suffer from rosacea, but I do have sensitive, pale skin that reddens at the slightest affront, so I was hoping that Pevonia Botanica’s advanced line of skincare products designed for rosacea sufferers might help keep my skin calm, cool, and collected.

The kit includes the RS2 Gentle Cleanser, which contains Allantoin and rose essential oil to soothe skin. Because foaming agents can be a skin irritant, this cleanser doesn’t foam up, but I was happy to find that nonetheless, it rinses clean and doesn’t leave my skin feeling dry and stripped the way some cleansers do.

The cleanser is followed with the RS2 Gentle Lotion, a toner with green tea, chamomile, and licorice. My skin is not only sensitive but also tends to be oily, so toner is a must. The active ingredients are vaso-constricting, meaning they minimize redness on the surface of the skin.

The final step in the process is the RS2 Care Cream, a moisturizing, protective cream that perfects the skin and gets rid of blotchiness. I patted the cream on with care at first because heavier moisturizers, but the cream absorbed quickly and didn’t leave any film or residue.

Despite the look on my face here, I was definitely pleased with the results! I noticed that while using the RS2 Rosacea Skincare Kit, I didn’t get the post-cleansing or post-shower redness I usually do. I’d definitely recommend the kit to anyone with sensitive, pale, or blotchy skin.

Maybe everyone’s got “chest brain” thanks to Breast Cancer Awareness month, but this little invention knows no season: a bra that doubles as two gas masks.

The bra’s inventor, Dr. Elena Bodnar, explains that she was inspired by tragedies like Chernobyl (she began her career studying the effects of the nuclear disaster) and 9/11. She envisioned a portable protective device that would be available when it was needed – Dr. Bodnar estimated that most women wear bras nearly every day, so a device that doubled as an undergarment would be the most accessible in case of an emergency. Dr. Bodnar’s invention was honored at the 2009 Ig Nobel awards, a ceremony that singles out scientific work that “first make[s] people laugh, and then make[s] them think.”

What about you? Are you going to trade in your La Perla (which absolutely will not save your life one day, I feel compelled to point out) for Dr. Bodnar’s brainchild? As a fairly notorious worrywart, I might laugh at this in public, but in secret I’d definitely wear one. I’d wear 10. And, if you laughed at me, I wouldn’t share in the case of an emergency.

Photo courtesy of thespaberry.com

If you love indulging in soaks at the spa but don’t get the chance to do so as much as you might like, check out SpaBerry – colorful, two-person jacuzzis with all the amenities of larger tubs, including waterfalls and cup holders. Think the iPod of spas.

SpaBerry also capitalizes on this age of customization by offering a series of designed “wraps” that change the outer appearance of the tub. Choose from relaxing scenes like beaches and sunsets, or have one of your own pictures blown up and converted into a design – here’s the chance you’ve been waiting for to really embarrass a family member by choosing an unflattering picture. The SpaBerry will run you $5,000 and each additional wrap will require $399.

Do you own a hot tub? How much would you say you use it?