As all good Twihards know, the sun makes vampires sparkle. There’s just one problem.

You ain’t a vamp.

Yes, the sad news is that if you’re reading this, you’re probably a human – and the sun won’t make you sparkle so much as wrinkle and buurrrnnn. So, with Ra’s rays out of the question, what’s a mortal to do to banish that otherworldly pallor?

Fake it, just like the Cullens faked being human (the metaphor begins to fail…here.) Here are our four fave sunless tanners, ready for your fake baking pleasure! And we won’t tell if you wait until after you’ve seen Eclipse. You know, all the better to fit in.

Fake Baker: Neutrogena MicroMist Tanning Sunless Spray
Why We Love It: Never streaks, dries fast, gradual bronze color, very minimal sunless-tan odor.

Fake Baker: Nivea Summer Beauty Smooth Legs
Why We Love It: Great for a light self-tanner without the odor.

Fake Baker: philosophy the big skinny self-tanning firming cream
Why We Love It: The big skinny self-tanning firming cream delivers gradual, natural-looking color…and smoother skin, all in one go.

Fake Baker: Beautisol All Seasons Glow
Why We Love It: Paraben free and packed with antioxidants, this bronzer will make your skin healthier – something the sun will never, ever do!

Photo courtesy of VH1.com

Weddings are officially serious business, and lots of brides prepare for their nuptials the way a 5-star general might prepare for war. So, natch, why wouldn’t you apply the same principle to getting in shape for your wedding?

That’s the premise of Bridal Bootcamp, a fitness course-turned-VH1 reality show that promises to take a handful of weeks of your life and kick you into the best shape you’ve ever been in just in time to put on your frothy dress.

The fitness program was so successful that VH1 recruited two teams of blushing to-be-brides who wanted to get in shape before their big days and threw ‘em on TV to broadcast their struggle on national TV. Just like regular bootcamp, the show pushes the brides to the breaking point by forcing them to eat, drink, sleep, and breathe physical challenge. It makes for good TV for us – and hopefully lasting change for the brides.

If you’re married, did you go to lengths to look your best on your wedding day? Would you head off to a bootcamp to make the difference?

(Psst – smart brides know that the best way to reward hard fitness work is by entering our Wed Like A Celeb getaway for the chance to flaunt those Bridal Bootcamp results on the beach in Bora Bora…)

Love this picture from Hollywood Life... we can SO picture it!

Case: Any other eighty-nine year old who has accomplished as much in showbiz as Ms. White has would be content to rest on her laurels – we’re thinking a daily routine where nothing on her to-do list is more taxing than a few mimosas over Golden Girls reruns. But Betty has other plans in mind! She made a splash last weekend as the charming host of Saturday Night Live thanks to a vigorous Facebook campaign on her behalf, and now there those same Facebook fans are pushing for Betty to host the Oscars and guest-star on Glee – making her perhaps the world’s most beloved/hard-working octogenarian.

Spa Treatment Sentencing: Betty’s working hard and needs pampering! We sentence her to a 60-Min Hot Stone Massage – enough to be soothing, but not too rough. Just right for our favorite Golden Girl!

So you’ve always wanted to be a reality star, but your audition tapes for The Real World, Survivor, and the Amazing Race keep getting lost in the mail before the casting directors can realize your genius.

You know that, most of all, you’d make THE BEST Bachelor or Bachelorette. But darn ABC just hasn’t figured it out yet!

To soothe the sting of rejection, the best thing you can do is make sure you’re a star of your own reality show. And The BodyHoliday in St. Lucia has just the way to help you do it. Take your own paradise getaway to the very resort where the 14th season of the Bachelor was filmed – at very un-Hollywood prices.

At BodyHoliday, rejected would-be Bachelors are put to work.

BodyHoliday’s special Travel by Spa Week rates include 35% off all-inclusive rates (meaning you get gourmet food and gorgeous accommodations bundled all together), a $100 per person spa credit, and one 50-minute spa treatment per person per day. That’s a whole lotta spa…and a whole lotta white sandy beach…and a whole lotta delicious food…and a whole lotta fun…

Suddenly your own reality isn’t looking so shabby, is it?

Book a self-indulgent getaway or make plans to head into the sunset with your own Bachelor or Bachelorette today!

The newest version of the beloved game played on a thousand family vacations is going to have a very 21st century spin. Players who remember the paper cash and comforting primary colors of the beloved former Monopoly game are in for a surprise – when the game releases a new edition this fall, cash and the bank will be replaced by ATMs and debit cards.

Snatches of popular songs will play after various game actions, and prices (and income!) have been adjusted for inflation – players now receive $2 million for passing Go instead of a paltry $200.

Despite slick new clothes, the game will still use the familiar streets and boulevards of Atlantic City – and you can bet that Park Place and Boardwalk will still be hot properties.

What familiar board game do you think should get a slick, modern update?