We didn’t start the fire! Oh wait, yeah we did.
It’s been just over 48 hours since we sent Bryce Gruber of The Luxury Spot to get Vajazzled, and be the first human being to ever share a personal account of the latest phenomenon of bedazzling your va-jay-jay. Since then, she’s been the talk of the town. Or, universe rather. Some were enthralled with Bryce’s sparkling bits, others were appalled with the thought of Swarovski crystals crumbling, or even worse–a disaster during sex. And some we didn’t understand because they were in non-Latin-based dialects. We’ve scurried the interwebs and compiled a list of the funniest, most opinionated, most eye-popping comments on the subject. The verdict? Jury is still out.
“Gross. People who vajazzle should have their vaginas taken away,” he said. “They can have them back when they are ready.” (Gawker)
“I prefer the term vagina-jewel-gluing, not vajazzling, because I am an adult and do not need to invent nursery rhyme words for things that people do to their genitals.” (Blackbook)
“Vajazzling involves women feeling like they need to change some part of their body and this change requires them to spend lots and lots of money on a regular basis. I can take my vagina bushy or bald, but I don’t think I could live with my vagina if it was all bling…” (Vegina)
“I need to share my enthusiasm for VAJAZZLING with someone who will appreciate it!” (Married to the Mob)
“Am I the only one grossed out by this?” (Make Her Up)
“To feel good about your privates you have to superglue crystals to them? (Feministe)
“Najnoviji trend u osobnom uljepšavanju jest Vaginiranje, odnosno Vajazzling. Možda će mi se oni upoznati s ovom procedurom smijati, ali bio sam uvjeren da je friziranje, ili pak kompletno izbrijavanje, jedino što se s tim područjem dade napraviti.” (idesh)
“Eww, it looks like little crystal in-grown hairs.” “Or a bad case of shiny herpes.” (The Frisky)
“Then, per her aesthetician’s instructions, she “abstained from vigorous activity” for 24 hours afterwards. Because, you know, that’s the whole point of vajazzling—abstinence.” (Racked)
“Maquillage et accessoires pour le pwubs! Un peu excessif mais j’adore regardé quand même! Je me retrouve dans cette zone! (Benybabeliscious)
“Those crazy folks at Swarovski have found themselves a brand new market. Looks like this will be hot with all those rhinestone cowgirls out there. (slutty much? jeez) So let me get this straight, pubic hair is out, pubic jewels are in. Oh I get it. What the hell?!” ( i could cry but i don’t have time)
“I would have expected a trend so bikini friendly, so sparklerific, would have had to have started here. But no. It happened in Manhattan. I guess the Swarovski crystals had to get tested on the subway before showing up on the surf set?” (Mom Fluential)
“Have you ever stared down at your freshly waxed, pre-pubescent looking vagina and thought, this is missing something…sparkly!” (2PzNapod)
“There is nothing good about this, nothing at all.”(NY Mag)
What do YOU think about it all? If you’re feeling sparkly inside… and want to feel more so on the outside… you can get Vajazzled (which includes the wax!) during Spa Week®, April 12-18, for the sweet price of $50 (usually $112) at Completely Bare on Bond St. NYC, or at their Westchester location. There’s also a spa in Washington, DC called Strippers (number: 301-885-1929), also offering Vajazzling during Spa Week®.
“Spa Week… making it shine where the sun don’t!” But don’t quote us on that.